


Strange Dust

by lunarpunctuation



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M, Gen, Jukebox Musical AU, Magic, Major Lore Changes, Qrowin - Freeform, Snowbirb, humor/a small amount of angst/kinda fluffy/as much action as I can squeeze in, snowbird, some characters that are not faunus in canon are faunus for fic purposes, strange magic au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarpunctuation/pseuds/lunarpunctuation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Qrowin AU based around the film Strange Magic. Basically, Qrow and Winter are royals of opposing kingdoms, one of Faunus, the other fairies. What happens when the machinations of James Ironwood lead to the kidnapping of Princess Weiss? Will war break out, or will love triumph?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So for the purposes of this fic, I've made several characters Faunus out of necessity. It is also based on a jukebox musical, so there will be song lyrics as needed. If you haven't seen Strange Magic, I highly recommend it, it's a really fun flick. Anyway, this has only been briefly edited. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: don't own anything referenced here.

Once upon a time, there were two kingdoms. To the west, the Dark Forest, inhabited with Faunus, insects, and many dangerous creatures, ruled by the fearsome Qrow King. To the east lay the fairy fields, filled with fairies and flowers and sunshine, ruled by King Schnee.

In the border between these two kingdoms grew the infamous primroses. These powerful flowers were the key ingredient to make Love Dust, a powerful form of magic used to create love, or at least it was in the past. The Qrow King has declared Love Dust illegal and ordered all primroses to be destroyed after the disappearance of his sister. Yet where a desire persists, some fool will inevitably find a way.


	2. Preparations, Brides, Badgers and Petals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured in this chapter:  
> "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin  
> "Bad to the Bone" by George Thorgood  
>  Some of the lyrics have been minimally edited to better fit my purposes, but if an actual jukebox musical can, why can't a jukebox fic? *I take no credit for any of the lyrics, edited or not. They do not belong to me and are being used here for entertainment purposes only.  
> Comments/criticisms are welcome, I still have not edited this well, but here ya go!

The small feathered figures flitted around, flinging berries at the blindfolded princess. Sword in hand, she swung with true skill and sliced each one. The pixies clapped and hummed their approval. Princess Winter removed her blindfold, pushed her white bangs out of her eyes, stretched her large royal blue wings, and readjusted her stance. “Time for round two, ladies,” she chirped, about to put her blindfold back on when her father stepped out on to the balcony. Winter and her attendants sighed.

            “Winter, darling, we need to discuss the Spring Ball. You’re really not wearing that, are you?”

            Clad in her usual outfit, a short white jacket with long arm slits, a blue vest to match her wings, blue fingerless gloves, white pants, and light blue knee-high boots and straps, accented with a small red gem at the base of her collar, she shrugged. “Why would I wear anything else? This fits well and is practical. Besides, I’m not going.”

            “Winter, it’s the Spring Ball. You should have a little fun, relax, and of course that nice boy Jimmy will be there, maybe you two could dance?”

            “James Ironwood is only interested in obtaining an army, that was clear from day one. And this is relaxing, at least to me.”

            “As heir to the throne, you know as well as I do that when you are ruler you will be required to attend such social functions. And really, dear, if not Jimmy, try and meet someone tonight? You’ll be a stronger ruler with a King by your side.”

            “Father, I will be stronger without any distractions.”

            “Winter, you’ve always been… unique but there is someone out there for you. I just want you to be happy.”

            “I am happy. And, if you can find a guy that I can look in the eye without immediately wanting to connect my fist with his face, I will consider it.”

            “Will you consider coming to the Spring Ball, if anything to help me watch your sister? Weiss is still in tails over that Neptune boy, with his turquoise wings. Preposterous!”

            “I will attend, Father.” She bowed her head. It was not an event worth fighting her father over.

            “I’m glad you changed your mind, dear. I will see you then!”

            Winter narrowed her eyes slightly before tugging her blindfold back over them. “Round two, take two!”

 

The Qrow King was in a foul mood. He almost always was, having lived in a cloud of alcohol and anger for the better part of a decade, but today had begun badly, running out of his favorite whiskey. Now his chief advisor, an owl faunus named Ozpin, was once again trying to set him up. He had brought three women: a redhaired fox faunus with way too short of a skirt, a praying mantis with garish hot pink lipstick, and a small black rhinocerous beetle with a blonde wig perched on its head. Qrow growled and took a swig of his second-best rum. His long black wings trailed behind him as he stood up from his throne.

“What the heck is this, Ozpin? Two of ‘em ain’t even faunus, I told ya I’m not into insects,” he spat. He turned to look at the ladies, “No offense, gals, I’m sure you have great personalities.” He turned to menace his advisor, leaning over him, the black feathers that comprised his hair giving his face a dark shadow.. “You need to stop this madness.”

“But sire, think of the kingdom! You at least need to provide an heir to people, even if you won’t get married. You have left me no choice.”

The king scoffed. “An advisor that actually advises running around, fraternizing with random women. What did I do to deserve this? And I think you’re forgetting I have an heir, in fact I have two nieces.”

Ozpin narrowed his wide eyes. “You know as well as I do that the elders would never accept Yang, much less Ruby.”

“They can get over it. I’m not changing my position on love, and I am raising those two girls to be perfectly capable rulers.”

As if on cue, three young girls ran into the room: Yang, his eldest niece with long blonde feather hair, his short, black-red haired niece Ruby, and their friend and classmate Blake, a cat faunus with black ears perking out behind through her long dark tresses and a slender black tail. “Uncle Qrow King! We might have accidentally set the kitchen on fire!”

Qrow drained his flask.

           

            Princess Weiss and her elf friend Jaune- er, well Jaune was really more of a lackey but Weiss called him friend out of kindness- were already planning for the Spring Ball as they traipsed across the meadows. “Alright, Jaune, let’s go over the plan again. How exactly are you going to get Neptune to notice me?”

            Jaune jumped to attention. “You’ll be standing at exactly four o’clock from the fountain where he will ‘accidentally’ bump into you.”

            “Good, now what about our plan to get Winter to dance?” Weiss whispered, fluttering over closer to Jaune. Winter often followed them on their excursions, though they had strayed from their normal haunts, getting close to the border of the Dark Forest.

            Jaune looked like he might help. “I’m working on that. I know Ironwood is a bad choice to ask her to dance, do you know any guys she likes?”

            “Not really, I can’t get her to say anything about boys or dating besides ‘no’. And while I respect her decision to be single to keep the kingdom safe, I worry that she’s too hard on herself.” She frowned.

            “I know, Weiss, I worry too, but I’m sure Winter will be fine.” Weiss still looked very downhearted. Jaune had an idea and reached for a hug. “Hey, hey,

_here’s a little song I wrote_

_I’ll sing it for you note by note_

_Don’t worry_ ” he abruptly stopped when Weiss slapped him.

Weiss stepped back from him and glared. “Remember that you are only my best friend by default, Jauny Boy.”

“I was just trying to lighten the mood, I’m sorry, it won’t happened again.”

“You know how I feel about that song.”

Jaune opened to apologize when a badger popped into the clearing. Jaune promptly screamed and fainted. Weiss grumbled but dashed to pull him to safety. She had to hurry, the badger was growling and rapidly approaching, he was headed straight towards her and she couldn’t fly with this dead weight-

“Leave my sister be, foul creature!” screamed Princess Winter as she dove for the beast, sabre pointed straight at its heart. The beast startled and turned, circling back around. Winter  stopped short, sheathing her weapons. Unfortunately, killing the creature would cause an international incident and the princess would have to resort to more… interesting tactics.

Weiss had managed to drag Jaune through the tall grass a distance, dropping him unceremoniously underneath a short flower and flying to help her sister. “Winter, how can I help?” she called.

“Head left, I’ll follow!” Winter yelled back, and the fluttering of pale red and royal blue wings led the badger in the same direction. Winter grabbed on to a thorny white rose stem and pulled back, Weiss doing her best to help. As the badger rounded the corner, they releasted the plant and it whipped into the badger’s face, leaving a small bloody patch in the center of its white stripe.

The badger reared and made a hellish noise but continued after the fairy princesses. Winter inhaled deeply, drew herself up to her full height, raised her arms, and let out a defeaneningly loud “BRAWRER!”

The badger whimpered and ran off towards the forest. Jaune whimpered as he woke from his swoon and stumbled towards the princesses. He heard a commotion above him- goblins were cutting primroses! He startled and started running away when a primrose petal fell in front of him. He panicked and stuck it under a root, sprinting towards the princesses.

“Sis, that was awesome!” Weiss exclaimed.

“That was reckless. Coming out here with just him? You’re lucky I followed you, and as *second in line for the throne, you owe it to the kingdom to be more careful!”

“Well maybe if you hovered less I wouldn’t venture so far from the castle.”

Winter winced. “I’m just trying to protect you!”

“I know, but I had Myrentaster, I could have handled it, just have faith! I’m old enough to attend the Spring Ball, I should be allowed to leave the castle by myself.”

Winter sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Anyway, are you as exciting for the ball as I am?” Weiss said, eager to change the subject as they flew back towards the castle.

“No,” Winter said, “but I’m glad you are, you dork,” punching her sibling in the shoulder. Weiss laughed.

“Hey, wait up!” Jaune shouted as he ran after the princesses. He was ignored and slowed to a trudge. At least he could watch Weiss’s gorgeous white hair flow in the wind.

 

            The Qrow King allowed himself a smile. At least he had one thing to look forward to today after the kitchen fire had finally been subdued. He took another swig of his barely palatable rum and called his two best henchman to him. Ren was a tall, slender, quiet gazelle faunus with large horns protruding from his head, and his faithful friend Nora, a short, oxymoronic, energetic sloth faunus. “What is the status of our primose destruction?”

            “We have almost all of the flowers chopped down, sir, but an elf almost got a hold of one!” Nora stated. Ren winced at the mention of the blond elf. They had seen him too late to stop him but he did not seem to take a petal on his flight.

            “We have reason to believe he was unsuccesful though.” Ren added.

            Qrow snarled. “He better have been. If he thinks he is getting a bottle of love dust made, he is in for a nasty surprise.” The king stood up, preened his wings slightly, pushed his bangs out of his and reached for his staff.

            “Doesn’t that little turd know who he’s dealing with? Doesn’t he know about the big bad Qrow King _?_

_On the day I was born_  
The nurses all gathered 'round  
And they gazed in wide wonder  
At the joy they had found  
The head nurse spoke up  
Said "leave this one alone"  
She could tell right away  
That I was bad to the bone

_Bad to the bone_  
Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone

_make a rich woman beg_  
I'll make a good woman steal  
I'll make an old woman blush  
And make a young girl squeal

_And when I walk the streets_  
Kings and Queens step aside  
Every woman I meet  
They all stay satisfied

 

_Haven’t they told ya sonny_  
That I'm bad to the bone  
Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-Bad  
B-B-B-Bad  
Bad to the bone

From an alcove, the three women from earlier in the day stormed the throne room, squealing in delight at his crooning. Qrow cradled his face in his hands. He needed more to drink, and probably to rewrite those lyrics from his days as a young, brash prince.


	3. The Spring Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin. Sorry, ladies and gents, no Qrow King or team RWBY in this chapter but I promise they'll be here next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used "Cold as Ice" by Foreigner (minor lyric alteration)  
> "I Burn" by Jeff Williams (I know this song is about Yang. I realize it is not being used in relation to Yang, but it fit too well not to use plus I did want to feature some of the actual RWBY songs)  
> As always, no credit, just fulfilling my own needs.

Winter pushed through the ballroom doors with a sigh. The fake smiles, the whispered gossip, it was trying and a waste of time, but necessary for appearances. As she pushed her bangs out of her eyes, she saw her sister standing near that Neptune boy. While she tentatively approved of him, she did not believe he truly reciprocated her v sister's crush. Her face feel when saw her father smile brightly and followed his gaze to one Sir James Ironwood. She groaned internally. His three lackeys were positioned behind him in a way that suggested that he was about to sing another one of his doofy love songs.

 

He curled a lock of his dark hair around his finger, gave her his signature puppy eyes, and opened his mouth.

_"You're as cold as ice, you're willing  to sacrifice our love”_

Winter sniffed. "We have no such thing."

_“You never take advice_

_Someday you'll pay the price, I know”_

“This is supposed to make me like you?” she snarled, advancing toward him while cracking her knuckles.

_“I've seen it before_

_It happens all the time_

_You're closing the door_

_You leave the world behind”_

The princess was actively trying to attack the knight, while he managed to avoid her and keep his ornate choreography intact.

_“You're growing for old_

_You’re throwing away_

_A fortune in feelings_

_But someday you'll pay”_

Another verse and she still hadn’t made contact.

_“You're as cold as ice_

_You're willing to sacrifice our love_

_You want Paradise_

_But someday you'll pay the price_

_I know”_

“That’s enough!” roared Winter, and she finally stopped her physical assault. Two could play at colorful lyrical play.

_“Come at me_

_And you'll see_

_I'm more than meets the eye_

_You think that_

_You'll break me_

_You're gonna find in time”_

The rage in Winter became evident and the infallible James Ironwood stumbled. As her song continued he scrambled backwards in an awkward crab walk, trying to keep her at bay.

_“You're standing too close to a flame that’s burning_

_Hotter than the sun in the middle of July_

_Sending out your army but you still can’t win_

_Listen up silly boy ‘cause I'm gonna tell you why”_

Ironwood’s lackey finally righted him, and he tried to fire back but could not out sing her

_“You’re as cold as ice”_

She began to chase him.

_“I burn_

_Can't hold me now_

_You got nothing that can stop me”_

 

_“You’re willing to sacrifice”_

_“I burn_

_Swing all you want_

_Like a fever I will take you down”_

He turned around once more to stand up to her.

_“Cold as ice, you know that you are_

_Cold, (cold) as, (as) ice,_

_As cold as ice to me”_

A dangerous glint in her eye, she started swinging her fists at him. She missed, intentionally, she could not cause a scene, but he finally began to accept his defeat.

_“Reign supreme?_

_In your dreams_

_You'll never make me bow_

_I burn_

_Can't hold me now_

_You got nothing that can stop me_

_I burn_

_Swing all you want_

_Like a fever I will take you down”_

She finally chased him out of the ballroom, slamming the doors on the edge of his buckeye wings. Dusting her hands off, she turned to address the gawking partygoers. “Well, that was some nice entertainment for the evening. Please, enjoy yourselves!”

 

In the hallway, three identical knights in black and white armor giggled at each other while Ironwood paced. “She sure stomped the boss, didn’t she?” one said.

“What did you say?” Ironwood sniped.

“Nothing, boss. Princess Winter is bound to fall in love with you eventually, you’ll get your army soon!” He covered.

“Too bad there we don’t have any Love Dust,” another remarked.

“Are you implying that I need a Love Dust, soldier?”

“No, it would just make things simpler, sir.” The third knight said.

“It would. But how would we acquire this Love Dust?” Ironwood’s face was very puzzled.

At that exact moment, Jaune entered the room quickly, and leaving the doors open, peeked at Princess Weiss trying to get Neptune to dance with her despite his awkwardness. He sighed, closed the doors, and sank to the floor.

Ironwood grinned. “So you’re in love with Princess Weiss, eh boy?”

Jaune startled. “Um, yes sir, I mean no sir, well I mean yes… but there is no chance that she would ever even consider loving me, even less than of Princess Winter marrying you.”

Ironwood glared. “I will ignore that last comment in favor of making you an offer.”

“I don’t want it.”

“I need your help. If you get me Love Dust from the Sugar Plum Witch, I will let you use the Dust on Weiss.”

Jaune squinted at Ironwood. “Are you nuts? That would be worse, everyone would expect that to be the case, and if you truly care about Princess Winter, you would not use the Love Dust, that’s not real love!”

“Oh, but it’s so much faster. I love her too much to wait any longer, it’s killing me!” Ironwood did his best to sound truly hurt.

Jaune scoffed. “Yeah, and I’m secretly the Qrow King. I’ve known Winter for a long time, and I know as well as she does you only want to marry her for her crown.”

At this Ironwood perked. “I’ll give you power, riches once we’re married.”

“And risk losing Weiss, my only real friend? I think not.”

Ironwood growled, picking the elf up by the hem of his shirt. “If you don’t get me that Dust, I will tell the entire elf community about the encounter with the badger. I know how much they respect you, and I know from Winter’s incident report, filed just a few hours ago, that you passed out in the face of danger. Do you want to be ostracized, shamed for your cowardice?”

“I panicked! I’ve never seen an animal that big before, much less an angry one!”

“They don’t have to know that. And you’ll have to go through the Dark Forest to get the Dust. It’ll be redemption and a boost to your status all at once.”

Jaune grimaced. This was betraying his friend, his kingdom. But he couldn’t bear the thought of losing what little respect and leadership his position as the Princess’s friend gave him. “I’ll do it.”

Ironwood smiled. “All you need to do is take a primrose petal to the Sugar Plum Witch in her prison and our deal will be fulfilled.”

“Where do I get a primrose petal?”

“Figure it out yourself. Just remember the deal, son.”

Jaune gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Just for those who don't know, buckeye butterflies are the ones that look kinda like moths, like used for all the fairy dudes in Strange Magic. 
> 
> If the formatting is confusing let me know, I posted this with very minimal editing. I'm sorry, I'm lazy. And in general, if there's anything wrong, please let me know! I am unexperienced fanfic writer.


	4. In Which Jaune Takes a Level in Badass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, pretty much the title exactly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some slight deviation from the movie plot and some character attribute changes as per needed to fit my purposes.  
> Songs used: Loves Stinks by the J. Geils Band  
> As always, let me know if you catch any errors or have any comments/criticisms!

The next morning, Jaune packed a light bag with a few necessities and set out for the Dark Forest. “Okay, Jaune, you’ve got this. All you’ve got to do is find a primrose petal, sneak into the castle, find the prison, and convince the Sugar Plum Witch to make the Dust for me.” He shuddered. “Okay, break it down: find a primrose petal. Have they all been cut down? I don’t know- wait, duh, I stuck one under that root! I’ve got this!”

By this time, he was at the border and quickly put the petal in question in his pack. He looked into the gloomy expanse of the forest, turned his head away, closed his eyes, and stepped in. When he did not immediately get eaten, he steeled himself and began to run. He tried to avoid open areas, navigating between plants, jumping over and ducking under obstacles. A bird flew ahead and he managed to tuck and roll to safety. He took a deep breath, waited a few seconds, then headed back out. He had made great progress when a small critter spooked him.

The creature looked like a tiny, blonde monkey, though all the pictures Jaune had ever seen of monkeys showed them to be huge, but this thing was smaller than Jaune, and Jaune was a pretty average elf- small compared to most creatures. The critter chattered at him.

“What is it little fella?” Jaune asked.

The critter motioned to Jaune’s pack, sniffed at it, then nodded. He drew the shape of a primrose petal in the air and tittered loudly.

Jaune narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice, motioning for the critter to calm down. “Yes, I’ve got a primrose petal. I’m looking for the Sugar Plum Witch, okay, don’t tell anyone.”

The monkey-thing nodded in agreement, then motioned for Jaune to follow him.

Jaune perked. “You know how to get to the Sugar Plum Witch?”

The critter clicked his affirmation then took off. Jaune followed, getting back into the rhythm of navigating the treacherous territory. Soon, the little guy led him to the edge of a log that dropped into the miss. The critter waved and jumped into the mist.

Jaune gasped. “Little critter, are you okay?”

The creature squeaked back a reply. Jaune gulped.

            “You should know I am a very trusting person, so this is me trusting you. I really hope trustworthiness is one of your six pillars of character.” He unpacked his rope, hooked it on the edge of the log, then dropped into the chasm.

“aiiieeeIEIEIE!” Jaune screamed, he ran out of rope all too quickly, then finally looked down. The rope was just long enough for him to drop the rest of the way. The tiny monkey greeted him as he retrieved his rope.

            “Okay, you are somewhat honest. Where too next?”

            The monkey critter lead him to a tiny whole in the side of the wall of the castle. The monkey gestured up, for Jaune to climb in. As he did, he turned to the impish critter. “Aren’t you coming too?”

The monkey shook it’s head. “Why not?” The monkey put its ears up and growled slightly. “She’s that mean? On ho,” Jaune said as the monkey pushed him down the passage.

Jaune finally stopped yelling as he popped out of the tunnel into a large empty cavern. In a corner, a large, slightly glowing white orb hung between branches pulled from a tree. It glowed faintly, and a voice emanated from inside.

            “Whoever is there, please wipe your feet. That tunnel tends to be disgusting. Jaune approached the orb.

“Mrs. Sugar Plum Witch?” he asked cautiously.

“Yes, boy, that is my name. What is yours?” She was a sprite like creature, a dark glowing purple form with a weird tail thing instead of legs.

“Jaune, ma’am,” he said, saluting.

“I supposed you want Love Dust? IF you have the petal, I will make it for you, if you release me from my prison.”

Jaune gulped. “I promise I will,” He said solemnly

“I believe you. You may reach in, but I cannot reach out. Hand over the petal, it’s safer to perform the ritual in here.” Jaune did as commanded. He jumped and stifled a squeal when his hand appeared much smaller through the prison. The witch shook her head and continued to speak. “Do not watch this process, it is secret and dangerous. Just be careful what you wish for with this, son.” She turned her back and three tiny copies of herself joined her as she began the process and accompanying song.

_“You love her_

_But she loves him_

_And he loves somebody else_

_You just can't win”_

A small explosion went off in the background

_“And so it goes_

_Till the day you die_

_This thing they call love_

_It's gonna make you cry_

_I've had the blues_

_The reds and the pinks_

_One thing for sure”_

 The witch paused and looked at her miniatures, who then added their voices to the song.

_(Love stinks)_

_Love stinks yeah_

_(Love stinks)_

_Love stinks yeah yeah_

_(Love stinks)”_

Jaune tried to watch, mesmerized by the flashing lights and exploding noises. The witch turned around and glared, and Jaune nervously turned his head and pretended to whistle. She went back to her work.

_“Two by two and side by side_

_Love's gonna find you yes it is_

_You just can't hide_

_You'll hear it call_

_Your heart will fall_

_Then love will fly_

_It's gonna soar_

_I don't care for any Casanova thing_

_All I can say is_

_Love stinks_

_(Love stinks)”_

Finally, the Sugar Plum Witch ended her song and pressed a kiss to the purple bottle she now held, lighting it up with the knowing sparkle of magic.

 “Follow my directions carefully. Coat the eyes of the one you wish to enchant, then make sure you are the first person she sees. Now reach in and free me!”

Jaune reached for her hand, then pulled with all his might. The sprite quickly tumbled out of the prison.

“Hurry now, you can’t leave the way you came. Good luck,” she said, flying out ahead of him.

As Jaune started up the steps, she returned for a second. “If you see a small, monkey like creature, the Wukong, do not let him get the Dust. He will spread it around the forest like leaves in the fall, causing all sorts of chaos. That is all.”

 

Not but a few minutes earlier, a mushroom had seen Jaune’s bright blonde hair and immediately whispered to his neighbor that “a blonde elf was in the dark forest”. The murmur travelled up the line of mushrooms to Nora, who immediately reported to her king.

The sloth Faunus burst into the throne room. “Sire! A flan fell into the stark porridge!”

The Qrow King looked at his flask, then took another drink. “A what?”

“A flan fell into the stark porridge! You know, when you’re baking a flan and it falls into porridge that was so bland it was stark? Of course, that doesn’t happen much to Ren when he bakes, but-“

“That makes no sense! I shall see what is going on-,” Qrow bellowed.

“Wait let me try, Uncle Qrow King!” his little niece Ruby said as she walked into the room.

“A flan fell into the stark porridge, a flan fell into the dark forest! Something fell into the kingdom… hmmm flan fell, flan fell… a blond elf! A blonde elf fell into the dark forest, just like the one that almost got a petal a few weeks ago!” she exclaimed.

Yang walked into the throne room and tussled her sister’s hair. “Good job, sis, it’s amazing how you always figure out the garbled mushroom messages,” she said.

Blake nodded as she followed the sisters. “It really is a gift.”

Qrow actually smiled. “Yeah, you’re a smart one alright, if only you could figure out how to keep them from mucking it up in the first place, but whatever. What matters is that there’s an elf in my forest, trying to get a potion made.” He flew up to the top of his throne. “Alright, Faunus, find the intruder, or I’ll have yer head for breakfast with my whiskey!”

The royal guard dispersed with a clamor, streaming out the large animal jaw that served as the opening to the castle and down the stairs towards the dungeons- they were a known weakness in the castle defense- and began to sweep the area.

 

As Jaune stepped out into the hallway, a noise startled him- guards! He back into the doorway, waiting for them to pass, then flattened himself against the wall and ran up the spiraling wooden stairs as quickly as possible. As if being in the Dark Forest wasn’t enough, this dungeon area was dark and creepy, full of cobwebs, moss, and Faunus guards, most likely hunting him. He tried to calm himself, taking the quietest deep breaths he could, and thankfully he made it to the top of the stairs without any incident. Unfortunately, the main floor was crowded with throngs of Faunus. He paused for a moment. He was short, half the height of most of the Faunus, and if he crawled, he might could pass through at least mostly unnoticed.

He started trekking through the crowd, weaving around the legs of a dozen different Faunus, and managed to make it about halfway through the large room when the Sugar Plum Witch suddenly appeared.

“Thank you so much, Jaune, if you ever need another potion, just let me know, this freedom is worth two!” She chirped, noticeably higher in pitch.

The room quieted and every head turned towards them. The witch face palmed. “Don’t ever get arrested, kid. A few years in the can makes you act all sorts of crazy,” as doing her best to fly away.

Jaune, for his part, had already started running towards the exit, ducking, dodging, and doing his best to avoid death. At one point he might have power slid between someone’s legs, it was too much of a blur for him to really pay attention.

In fact, Jaune really didn’t regain full consciousness of his whereabouts until he was on the other side of the border. He made it! He went into the Dark Forest and lived! If he could have documented that, he wouldn’t even need to give Ironwood the stupid dust, it was pretty impressive if he did say so himself. He strolled into the elf village covered in dust, dinged up, with a little spider web in his hair, but he was too busy puffing his chest out and strutting around to notice. His fellow elves were looking at him strangely, though most expected odd behavior from a guy that spent so much time around the royal family. No one even said a word until he reached the blacksmith’s shop.

Pyrrha, the muscular, incredibly tall redheaded blacksmith apprentice had been leaning on the door frame eating a sandwich when Jaune walked by. “Jaune! What happened, you look like you fought an army of Faunus!” she exclaimed.

“Well, I wouldn’t say fight, but as to whether or not I went to the Dark Forest, well, let’s just keep that between us,” he said, winking at her before continuing on his one-man parade.

Pyrrha was shocked. Jaune made it through the Dark Forest with only a few scratches? She had always thought the other elves were being mean when they called Jaune a soft, wannabe fairy, but she would never have expected that! Though Jaune was full of surprises, in fact, he had never once commented on the fact that she stood a full head taller than him, and Jaune was actually fairly tall for an elf. There was just something… different about him.

 


	5. Two Worlds Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here, folks, don't work two jobs while going to college if you don't have to, it makes your fanfic schedule ridiculous!
> 
> Anyhow, the song used in this chapter is "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. Comments are always appreciated, and nope don't own anything here!

His scouts quickly confirmed what he already knew: the elf escaped with a potion. How he, the mighty Qrow King, wound up with such incompetent soldiers, he would never know. It was no matter. He would do a quick training, and then undertake his twisted plan to assert his authority and right the wrongs committed against his kingdom. The only thing more astounding than the potential repercussions of the elf's actions was the audacity of his new plan. He grinned as he downed another drink.

 

 

Winter steeled herself as she flew into the elf village. Her father had roped her into attending another party, this time the annual Elf Festival. At least this time there was less snootiness and more earnest enjoyment. And though the King had promised he would not invite Ironwood, she was still certain he would appear. Weiss, at least, would have fun, without Neptune to distract her, she would just dance with the elves. Unless Jaune made a fool of himself over her sister. It was a distinct possibility, he obviously was in love with her. Winter shook her head. Didn't they know love could only lead to clouded judgement and heartbreak? She hadn't even had to experience it personally to learn that. She just wished he would let her wear her sword.

Jaune was on stage with a microphone, singing for the band. It was surprisingly tolerable, for Jaune anyway, and two rows of elves and Winter and Weiss were joined in a traditional dance. 

 

As if on cue, Ironwood suddenly replaced an elf and after just a few rotations of the lines, was face to face with Winter.

"Winter, darling-"

"Don't you mean, your highness," she scoffed.

"Yes, of course, your highness. Can't you just give me a chance? I have never intended to wrong you, I want only the best from you... I mean for you, of course," he said, making eye contact with Jaune, who waved the bottle of love dust at him subtly.

 

"Ironwood, the only person you're fooling here is yourself. I am certain that even if I did believe in love, I would never fall for you."

 

"Winter, I only want to protect and serve the kingdom, I don't understand why you shut me out!"

 

"James, I have known you for years. You let the sight of a singular goal blind you to the consequences of your actions, much like you are now. Not only would you be an ill fit for a ruler, but even political arrangements can lead to emotional attachment. If I am to truly serve my kingdom, to take care of my people, I have to be clearheaded. This discussion is over, and in fact should never have started. Enjoy yourself this evening," she said,  turning and leaving the rustic dance floor. 

 

She quickly perched on a roof at the edge of the grounds, keeping a close eye on the proceedings.

 

Jaune, busy with his singing and dancing, misinterpreted Ironwood's  signals and began to uncork the bottle but the stopper was tight and it was quite difficult. On the other hand, Weiss was doing her best to be the perfect sociable princess, involved in a very intricate elf dance and in general, no one noticed Jaune's struggle.

 

Behind the stage, grim creatures were given the signal and the party really started.

 

The members of the elven band were quickly taken out and replaced with Faunus, and Jaune, caught up in his personal problems, continued to sing, masking the ambush. The Faunus donned the instruments and the music changed so drastically Jaune did turn around, just in time for the Qrow King to drop onto the stage.

 

_“I can't stand it I know you planned it_

_I'm gonna set it straight, this Watergate_

_I can't stand rocking when I'm in here_

_Because your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear”_

Winter rushed towards the stage. Her father may have forbidden her sword but her fists were plenty ready.

_“So while you sit back and wonder why_

_I got this fucking thorn in my side_

_Oh my God, it's a mirage_

_I'm tellin' y'all it's sabotage”_

Two Faunus intercepted her- “This one’s too feisty,” he yelled over the singing, “grab the little one,” though they still attempted to contain the elder princess.

_“So listen up 'cause you can't say nothin'_

_You'll shut me down with a push of your button?_

_But yo I'm out and I'm gone_

_I'll tell you now I keep it on and on”_

At that moment Jaune finally uncorked the Love Dust and managed to fling it straight into Weiss’s face. She spluttered, closing her eyes, but the Faunus managed to slip a burlap sack straight over her, a larger one hefting her over his shoulder.

The Qrow King continued his singing, menacing the terrified Elven crowd, those that had yet to

_“'Cause what you see you might not get_

_And we can bet so don't you get souped yet_

_You're scheming on a thing that's a mirage_

_I'm trying to tell you now it's sabotage”_

Jaune reached towards Weiss just as Wukong reached down and nabbed the potion. Jaune swung a punch at the Faunus holding Weiss. The Faunus barely blinked and one of its compatriots hit Jaune so hard he slammed into a pillar. Winter saw the capture of her sister and started struggling more fiercely.

_“Why; our backs are now against the wall_

_Listen all of y'all it's a sabotage_

_Listen all of y'all it's a sabotage”_

The Qrow King was almost finished with his song. He made an extra-dramatical dip forward, then belted out the last verse.

_“I can't stand it, I know you planned it_

_But I'm gonna set it straight this Watergate_

_But I can't stand rockin' when I'm in this place_

_Because I feel disgrace because you're all in my face_

_But make no mistakes and switch up my channel_

_I'm buddy rich when I fly off the handle_

_What could it be, it's a mirage_

_You're scheming on a thing - that's sabotage”_

            A few of his Faunus applauded. He growled at them before launching into a short speech. “A love potion has been illegally obtained from my kingdom. Return it to me before moon down and I will return the princess to you unharmed. If not, the chances of seeing her again are slim.”

            He walked over towards Winter, examining her pale skin and blue eyes. The ferocity behind them, of course, as she struggled against two of his best henchmen, as he had heard rumors of the strong-willed older sister. “Release my sister, you dusty old grackle!” she said, wrenching one hand free into a perfect punch.

            The blow took Qrow by surprise, and it was quite a good hit for a fairy princess, his red eyes open in awe. He actually rubbed his jaw a bit to disperse the pain. Yet that couldn’t distract him from his task. He uncorked his flask, took a swig, and then leaned over the princess. “I’m the Qrow King, Ice Princess, it would serve you well to remember of what breed I truly am if you are to complete my tasks.”

            He turned towards the crowd and his subject. “You heard the terms. Potion. Moon down. Faunus, with me!”

           

            In a flash the Faunus were gone. Winter quickly retrieved her sword from where she had stashed it near the festival. “I’ll go save Weiss.”

King Schnee recovered enough to speak. “You will do no such thing, stay here where it’s safe, there is no need to risk both princesses-“

“Father, quite frankly I don’t trust anyone else to save her, I’ll do better on my own.”

            “I’ll retrieve the potion,” Jaune cut in, “even if it wasn’t my idea,” he glared at Ironwood, “it was my mistake and I can’t let Weiss suffer for my sake, and we’ll need the bargaining power.”

            Winter nodded. “Good, then, hurry on with it. I’m leaving.” She turned and flew straight to the forest despite the continued protests of her parent.

            Ironwood popped up. “Sir, permission to take a battalion to the forest to provide support to Princess Winter and this elf criminal.”

            Jaune looked incredibly angry but kept quiet and began his own preparations.

            “Of course, my good boy, she’ll need backup,” the king said, and the two fairy gentleman began to make plans.

            As they left, Jaune turned to leave towards the forest where Pyrrha stopped him. “Jaune, you were so brave back there! Let me come help you!”

            Jaune looked at the ginger elf. “I’m sorry Pyrrha, I need to do this alone. It was my fault Weiss was taken, I don’t need to risk anyone else.”

            “Jaune, I know you wouldn’t have done it if you realized the true consequences, and besides, you really do need my help.”

            “Pyrrha, I’ve made it into the Dark Forest before without any help, I’ll be fine.” The elven pair was walking up towards a tree.

            Pyrrha turned towards it, and with a single blow of her fist, left a dent in the tree. Jaune looked dumbfounded. “Actually, I do think I could use your help.”


	6. Dear Lord Please No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I realized I had written enough over the past couple of months to make a new chapter and I really need to update this. Plus, I should be able to start writing again for this in the next couple of months, so be on the lookout for that!
> 
> Song: Love Me Do, the Beatles  
> Keep on Loving You, REO Speedwagon (brief mention)

The Qrow King and his Faunus forces returned to the castle in record time, much like the king guzzled a mug of his favorite beer at unfathomable speed before taking another swig from his flask and settling into his throne. "Bring the gal up, but don't rough her up, ya heathens." He was lucky he didn't have to remind the Faunus not to eat her.

His advisor and young female wards stood to his side as the princess was unceremoniously dumped out of her bag. She rubbed her eyes and slowly stood up.

"Oh, she's cute," Yang said, "too bad we can't keep her."

"Can we at least spar with her, Uncle Qrow? We don't get many visitors our age!" Ruby asked.

"Shh, just a minute Ruby," Ozpin said. "She may react unpleasantly."

Weiss opened her eyes, looked straight at Qrow, and launched into song.

_"Love, love me do_

_You know I love you_

_I'll always be true_

_So please, love me do_

_Whoa, love me do"_

She started advancing towards the Qrow King. "Hold on there, princess, I'm considerable older than you and this is weird. I don't like this love potion thing, I'm extra glad I banned it."

But the fairy didn't stop at the king's words.

_"Love, love me do_

_You know I love you_

_I'll always be true_

_So please, love me do_

_Whoa, love me do"_

Despite his attempts to back away, Weiss managed to leap onto Qrow, wrapping her arms around him. He quickly pulled her off as far as possible. "Get her off, this isn't happening. I need a drink. Somebody hold her down!”

_“Someone to love_

_Somebody new_

_Someone to love_

_Someone like you”_

            Weiss was actively chasing the Qrow King, who leaped to and fro to avoid her. A hoard of Faunus chased both of the royals. The three young girls watched the madness from the sidelines.

"Yang, Blake, she's about our age, why is she in love with our uncle she just met?"

"It's a love potion, Ruby, she's not herself," Blake said. "She's probably a snob underneath the magic." Weiss was now attempting to dive bomb Qrow from the air, as he dodged the crazed fairy.

_“Love, love me do_

_You know I love you_

_I'll always be true_

_So please, love me do_

_Whoa, love me do”_

A couple of Faunus managed to extract her off their king, yet the singing continued with a weepy tone.

_“Love, love me do_

_You know I love you_

_I'll always be true_

_So please, love me do_

_Whoa, love me do_

_Yeah, love me do_

_Whoa, oh, love me do.”_

 

"Stop! Singing!" The Qrow King roared.

Weiss stopped. "Okay, anything for my Qrowwy Rowwy Kingy Wingy!"

Everyone stopped. "It's The Qrow King, to you, princess. Dump her in the dungeon for now." He swiveled around, his cloak swishing behind him. He only barely managed to avoid tossing his royal cookies.

The princess sniffled, and the singing started again. Qrow drained his entire flask.

Yang groaned. “She could have at least picked a less repetitive song!”

***

Jaune and Pyrrha geared up and headed out into the unknown dangers of the forest. Jaune quickly described Wukong and the terrors of his Love Dust shenanigans, and an awkward hush settled between the pair. They stayed quiet to be alert, and after wandering the forest for a good while, they finally spotted the little tyrant.

A hushed plan later, and Jaune started screaming at Wukong and began to chase him in parallel to a spiderweb, and Pyrrha popped out of the side to try and force him into the web. Yet the critter was too quick for to just fall into the web, and he chirped and raised the bottle of Love Dust his head in a taunt.

Before Jaune and Pyrrha could recoup, the badger Winter had fought at the border came barrelling into the trio, with Wukong nimbly popping out of the way as the others were caught in the web in front of the now careening badger. Wukong giggled, ran up a tree branch, and liberally dusted the badger. He raised a goodbye wave to the elves and quickly disappeared into the night. 

Jaune looked up at the badger. "Well at least you're healing nicely."

The badger looked at both elves with lovesick eyes. "That creature really must be stopped," Pyrrha said.

 

***

The entire Faunus court crowded around the throne. Qrow had an entire barrel of wine rolled out of the cellars, but still there was no respite from the fairy princess's wailing. Even Nora, who was oblivious and therefore nigh impervious to most things was crouched next to Ren with her hands over her ears.

The singing suddenly stopped and the room erupted into cheers, just for someone to hear it return.

Yatsuhasi, one of the largest Faunus, screeched. "I know this song, end me now!"

"And I'm gonna keep on loving you, 'cause it's the only thing I wanna dooo-"

"Enough!" Qrow roared. "Yang, Ruby, Blake, you're about the twit's age, go see if you can stop this racket. I'm not dealing with it, largely because she's about your age and there's not enough alcohol in the whole forest to keep it from being horrible."

"We're on the job, Uncle Qrow!" Ruby announced, giving a quick salute.

"Not that it'll help," Blake droned, and the three headed down towards the dungeon.

Once below, the three girls saw Princess Weiss sprawled out on a mushroom, crooning her heart out.

Yang walked up to the wooden bars. "Hey, princess, could you can it for a minute? It's getting a lot old."

The princess looked up and stared at her captors. "Excuse me? If you can't tell, I'm very busy being heartsick and freshly in love with Qrowwy," she said, her voice suddenly becoming dreamy on the last word. She started to sing again, but she looked at Blake's stare and stopped short.

"I'm sorry, I'm just very overcome by these feelings. He's just so amazing, and wonderful,

and-"

"Old?" Ruby said. "He's ancient, Miss Princess Weiss, surely you'd rather date someone your own age!"

"He's just… perfect," she sighed.

"Oh, right, crazy evil love magic. Well, how is life in the fairy fields? I'm technically from there but I don't have time to visit much, what with my studies and all," Ruby chirped.

Weiss stopped and actually studied Ruby, taking in her stark white wings. "You are a fairy!" Weiss said.

"I'm half fairy, half Faunus," Yang added, "It's an interesting family tree."

At this admission, Weiss began studying the blonde intensely, noting the fairy-like shape of Yang's feathered wings. "That's fascinating, I never heard that the King of the Dark Forest, the handsome, wonderful, perfect king of my heart had nieces, much less fairy nieces! Speaking of Qrowwy-"

"OhyeahtheFaunusdon'tliketomentionthefactthatthetechnicalheirtothethroneishalffairyandthenextofkinaccordingtoourlawsisallfairy!" Ruby said, trying to keep the singing down.

"That makes sense. It's like the fairies don't like to think about how Winter is determined to never marry and leaves me to provide the next generation of heirs. Everyone wants her to marry one of the knights, and he's a total bore, and not nearly as great as Qrowwy, if Winter could find a man like him then maybe she might consider it. Hey! I could mar-"

"Do you have many friends in the fairy fields?" asked Blake, finally butting into the conversation.

That made Weiss pause. "I suppose I have one friend, an elf named Jaune, but does it count when they're in love with you and you politely ignore it?"

Blake and Yang began to debate that with her for a bit, when Ruby finally decided to ask Weiss an important question.

"Do you want to be friends with us, Weiss?"

Weiss paused. "I'm not sure," she said, "I don't know much about being real friends."

Ruby nodded. "I don't know much either. Blake is my friend, but she's really more friends with Yang. And I just… Yang and I get treated so strange, being fairies or half fairies, Blake doesn't care but she doesn't hardly care about anything, and I just get so lonely sometimes…"

Weiss had been following along with Ruby's rambling but she suddenly latched onto the last word and started again.

"I'm so lonely…" she belted through a brief yawn.

Yang and Blake cut her off. "You're very tired, aren't you princess?" Blake said.

Weiss nodded. The three other girls crowded her, rocking her back and forth, and the lovesick princess nodded off, mumbling about her Qrowwy wowwy.

The forest girls backed away slowly and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note, I headcanon that the potion affects everyone's faculties, hence why Weiss was way less out of it than Dawn (plus Dawn was a little bit more love obsessed anyhow). 
> 
> Also, please let me know how you feel about the formatting for the song stuff... I just want to make sure it's readable and makes sense. I know it hasn't been the world's most consistent thing but I seem to have something together.

**Author's Note:**

> The prologue is, in fact, incredibly short.


End file.
